


Come Back Soon! Or I'll Pluck Out Your Eyes!

by PeachyPansexual



Category: Elder Scrolls, Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion
Genre: But they're not the important part, Eyes get ripped out but not graphically, Plus all of the other Daedric Princes, So consider yourself warned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-29
Updated: 2017-09-29
Packaged: 2019-01-06 19:50:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 717
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12217764
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PeachyPansexual/pseuds/PeachyPansexual
Summary: Or how the Madgod went from silvered gentleman with a goatee to mortal bosmeri woman and back again.





	Come Back Soon! Or I'll Pluck Out Your Eyes!

It had been roughly 40 years since the whole debacle with the Greymarch, as well as the whole affair with Martin and Mehrunes Dagon (poor bastard was still sore about getting beaten.) 

It had been another 20 since the Madgod had died. She didn’t really remember how it happened. A sharp pain in her back while she slept, and she woke to Haskill standing over her in the throne room. She didn’t really mind. Details of her mortal life had started to slip away, replaced by duty to her subjects and, of course, the Madness of the one she succeeded.

There was a gathering among the Daedric Lords being held by Hermaeus Mora. She wasn’t sure what it was for. She was more preoccupied with figuring out how to peel a man like an orange without tearing his skin. Relmyna would probably know. 

“My Lord, I believe it would be wise to pay attention to our host. He does tend to be irritable if he thinks he’s being snubbed.” Haskill advised her. She waved him off as she caught sight of an old friend. Or was he a foe? A fritter? She didn’t care. Old Hermy wasn’t talking right now, and she recognized the old crystalline knight as someone she had met as a mortal. Other memories bubbled. Something about clouds. Or was it clowns? She waved Haskill away as he objected to her sudden flight. “My Lord, please answer the question first!" 

"Question?” she looked up at Hermaeus Mora.

“If we give Jyggalag new lands to rule, would you be the one to keep him in check, Sheogorath?” Mora rumbled. “You defeated him once already. As a mortal.” The last word rode out on a derisive note. The Madgod didn’t care.

“Of course!” she trilled. “Perhaps we can take a vacation together! Oh! I’ve just the place in mind, it’s lovely this time of year. We could do tea sometime, too!” The other Princes rolled their eyes. She agreed and that was enough. Now to shut her up. It had taken nearly a week last time. Rambling about a joke the first Madgod made that she had taken too seriously. None of them wanted to hear the word cheese for almost a year.

Jyggalag was the first to move. “I see you truly have grown into your place, Sheogorath. But I think it best that we don’t. At all.” he said coldly.

“Ohh. Now why not? Let bygones be bygones and all that?” she pouted. Haskill tried to herd her away as calmly as possible. “Stony-faced old bastard, no need to be so rude. Heheh. Stony-faced.” She started to cackle at her own joke. The other princes groaned. Mehrunes Dagon threw a plate and missed. Jyggalag lunged at her and her cackling broke into screeches. Her cane spun away from her as her assailant dug his fingers into her eyes. Instead of shrinking away, several of the other Lords clamored around them, trying to get a better look. Haskill stepped back, cane in hand, and waited patiently for the outburst to end. Jyggalag stood and the Madgod’s screams stopped.

“I don’t know what came over me…” he said. Two bright green eyes fell from his bloodstained hands.

“It like you went completely,” Sanguine paused and snickered, “Mad!" 

The Madgod sat up and felt around blindly on the floor. Her form started to ripple and glow. In a burst of light, Sheogorath changed. "I did warn her,” he said. “I told her to come back soon. _40 years_ is NOT soon. Haskill!” the Madgod leapt up. “Where’s Haskill” he asked nobody in particular, idly picking at one of his empty sockets. “Ah! There you are!” Haskill handed him the cane and fell into step behind him.

“You… stripped yourself from my mind.” Jyggalag said, barely comprehending. 

“Yup! That I did, that I did.” Sheogorath picked up his old eyes and handed them to Jyggalag. “Hold onto these for me, will you?” He patted the crystal knight on the shoulder.

“It’ll make it easier for me to keep an eye on you!” he laughed uproariously and walked away. “Now then, I’ve things to attend to at home, and a question for my dear Relmyna. Ta-ta!” He banged the end of his cane on the floor, waved, and vanished.

**Author's Note:**

> I was going through my tumblr looking for a particular video and ended up really far back in my elder scrolls tag. Like, back in my embarrassing "unnecessary commentary added to Everything" phase in late 2012/early 2013.
> 
> Anyway, I ran across this 5 year old piece of writing and miraculously still loved it, so I figured I'd share this bizarre miracle with all of you.
> 
> Hope you enjoyed my personal headcanon for how we went from Shivering Isles' Mortal Madgod to Sheogorath's old self except blind now.


End file.
